Recommended Movies - with our comments

Dear Family, finally, the new updated Recommended Movies list. Below are the movies that are OK for your Heavenly Homes to watch. Do NOT watch any movies that are not on this list or you will be given one warning, then excommunicated. Happy viewing!

You may watch:

(1) Pinocchio (If you fast-forward through the part where the boys have destructive behavior and are turned into donkeys.) We suggest an EA (experimental adult) stand in front of the TV while the shepherdess gives a short testimony, while you're fast-forwarding.

(2) The Ten Commandments - Charlton Heston plays a great Moses.... oh wait.... Charlton Heston works with anti-cult groups. Sorry. This movie is now banned and OFF THE RECOMMENDED LISTS.

(3) "The Forbidden Planet" . This 1940's movie has great lessons about not doubting as your doubts will become monsters. Be sure to stop every 5 minutes and pow-wow the lessons being brought out. Read the entire ML after the movie.

(4) Any movies with John Travolta or Tom Cruise in them. They're both Scientologists and they're fighting for relgious freedom and have helped the Family with legal advice.

(5) Documentaries on the marriage of Princess Diana and Prince Charles, or any videos glorifying royalty and divine right. These will inspire a sense of awe in you for Queen Maria and King Peter.

That's it! That's the full list. Hope you have many hours of viewing pleasure with these.

What NOT to watch, and which could warrant immediate excommunication:

(1) Any sexy comedies that do not have Jewish actors in them.

(7) Absolutely no war movies or anything that has any action whatsoever.

(8) Any old Ronald Reagan movies.

(9) Any movies where actors rebel against authority, indulge in free thinking or have more than two cups of 8 oz. glasses of wine.

(10) Any movies where masturbation is mocked or spoken of lightly.

(11) Any movies that praise good old-fashioned family values and love for fleshly brothers and sisters.

Remember, dear Dad not only looks for peanut butter in cupboards as he swoops around, but looks for un-approved videos. Big Brother is watching! ha!