|
In Reply to: What has my past given me? posted by goth88 on September 15, 2002 at 12:52:02:
Don't knock yourself in the head thinking that you have a mental defiency, you don't. A lot of smarter people than you and me have ended up in cults. Just me thankful that you are out and not still abused like some of them who are in.
I don't know what it all means and if there is any meaning to the wasted time we had in the cult. Maybe, our testimony will help others who are still in? I think we all feel to some degree that the best part of our young lives was taken from us. We have to forgive ourselves and realize we were taken to the cleaners by a demonic obsessed man if not actual demons. Most of were very young and inexperienced and had limited knowledge of God and his word.
You have learned and I'm still healing myself. But, don't kick yourself in the head, we all have failed. View failure as a learning experience and forgive yourself. Try also to forgive those who have hurt you so deeply, I know it might be hard. But, by doing so they have less power in your life.
I know you have heard it all before. I know exactly what you're going through too. I left the family when I was 27 after 9 years from the beginning (I'm 52 now). It still haunts me some of the destructiveness that was done. I use to wake with dreams in the middle of the night with DB telling me what to do and mindless clone leaders with little or no sense trying to boss me around. What nightmares and after all those years too. For the longest while I thought I was alone.
But, thank God we are not alone. We have brothers and sisters here who have went through the same.
Believe me, they are so many others in other cults also.
You have not failed you passed. Some other ones are still in there and they have wasted their whole adult life. I wonder when they will wake up?
