At what point did you leave?

I was thinking the other day at what point did I actually start to depart from the faith of the Family. The thinking was brought on by a post on Moving on which has since been removed, but in it the woman who grew up in the group and left probably a decade ago said that she had known her whole life that the group was wrong and not for her and couldn't wait until she could leave.

I on the other hand didn't know that. I was as solidly in the group as you could be, totally 110% for many many years. Sure, I had my share of battles and wanted to leave several times, thought it over and contemplated it, but it wasn't due to the Family or its doctrines or situations I was in, it was always pointed at me, I was too weak, I was too worldly, I wasn't spiritual enough, always my fault.

The first step of changing that thinking was right before Berg died and he recanted his former teachings concerning the blacks and that they were slaves due to their sins and etc... For some reason it sort of shook my foundation a bit when he recanted something that had taken a lot of faith for me to believe and pass on to others.

From that point on it was a combination of both sides, shaky faith in the Family doctrines mixed in with a discouraged view of myself, but I still hung in, and after about 5 years I finally came to the point of leaving the group knowing that there was something internally wrong with the way it operated, with its doctrines, etc.

How about you, was there a specific point when your outlook changed and was it before or after you left. Did you leave in discouragement or leave in disgust?