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In Reply to: The stages can be in parallel not necessarily sequential posted by Miguel on August 04, 2002 at 10:22:38:
I've worked through so much of that. It took time, and as you say, over time my "sense of outrage" of things that were done to me or my wife fades. I vented, talked about it, and given time that faded. So what you say is very true. We've gone on with our lives, have new non-Family friends, jobs, new children that were never in the Family etc.
BUT there are two qualifiers. (1) We did not suffer deep, lasting psychological trauma or pain like Goth talks about. THAT takes a longer time to go over and it takes venting, and sympathetic, understanding people. And unfortunately, in some people's lives, they get no support and suffer the rest of their lives, locked in anger because of it. No fault of their own. OR the abuse they suffered was so intense that it cause new hot-wiring of circuits in their brains, and the damage (tho never unhealable) requires deep understanding and empathy to restore to wholeness.
The second qualifier (2) is if you are faced on an ongoing basis, daily, with other people's pain. If you have teen or young adult children and you can see them reaping in their lives the damaging results of Family policies and doctrines, you have the pain shoved in your face every day. As a parent who is deeply emotionaly bonded with your children, you can't help but share in their pain and sense of outrage.
My own pain has faded. I don't have teen or YA children living with me, so that isn't in my face. But I do read about many SGs and their pain, and whenever I do, I do not remain without empathy or even anger.
