healing

the thread below got somewhat sidetracked into our personal tragedy. but i was just wondering if that was about it...venting, and time (w/ a possible detour into drugs and alcohol)...is that all people have found helpful in the healing process? or do folks just get so busy w/ as donny put it "normal life" that it just gets pushed aside? if that is so, than i can see why some posts trigger such a volcanic reponse. because i agree, i don't think this stuff does just go away on it's own.

in the grieving process we found that the very strong emotions often found ways of coming out seemingingly unrelated to the actual issues we struggled w/.we read that most marraiges that go thru the loss of a child eventually break up. i would have thought just the opposite...until we saw how the weight of painful emotions would often find their way out in our relationship...the only place we somehow felt safe to let off steam. if we hadn't found some help at that stage we woulda been toast.

personally, as regards getting beyond the lingering effects of 20+ years in the f., was trying to really understand what it was that happened to us. the dynamics of human behavior in high control environments really helped. steve hassan's book "combatting cult mind control" and the book "the subtle power of spiritual abuse" (whose author i don't have handy) were two of the best at helping sort thru the "what the hell happened there" thing. armed w/ those insights, it became a little easier to go on and deal w/ the issues of our own personal responsibility in the events in our own lives...face up to, and seek forgiveness for those things that , despite the dynamics of deception that were at work, we did follow. (books on grace really helped here..."the raggamuffin gospel" by brennan manning and "what's so amazing about grace?" by phillip yancey helped us the most.

regardless of what ever cult-specific issues unique to our pasts we were facing, we also were faced w/ the universal dilemma of making sense out of life on post-adam planet earth.somehow we had to find some solid ground on which to stand. we spent quite a bit of time and effort on this, (between many long hours trying to play catch-up-football w/ the financial wreckage of our lives and dealing w/ the multitudinous issues of transitioning multitudes of our kids into a more mainstream lifestyle.) we are very thankful that our faith came thru DRASTICALLY changed, but more alive and well than it had ever been in "never-never land! reading widely and discussions w/ other exmems and mature thoughtful believers were a big help in that. and ...most importantly, despite our many trips thru the fire and the water, His presence never left us. thank God for the answered prayers, the little "signs" and the cool winds of heaven that seemed to arise just when we thought we might faint.

not sure if this helps at all but i just wanted to get up and "testify" as simon black used to say. ha! "can i get a witness?"...