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In Reply to: Re: Treats you like the devil? posted by Joseph on July 24, 2002 at 22:26:49:
We just have a hard time on some points and neither one of us will back down and that creates a bad situation. In fact, I like you a lot and have had many enjoyable conversations with you and think you are a very funny person, talented and gifted, thoughtful and caring. I think all of those things of both you and Jane and if I didn't think that I wouldn't bother with what I thought was a warning to a good person but you rather take it as an attack. Reread Rocky's post, all my position in the past and present is summed up in his two posts. Maybe I don't have a good way of getting it across, I'm not flowery and I don't like to play games so I just blurt things out - my fault.
I've been thinking a lot about this lately. My daughter just returned from visiting her father who is still in the F. She came back totally disgusted and went on and on about the way he is, what a manipulator, a lazy person who rules the roost and barks out orders and just a first class jerk. All I could do was nod my head and agree and I started to remember what he was like and how much I was under his thumb for nearly the whole time I was in the F. I also have an xmember friend here who used to live with us and I was telling her about it too, she laughed and said, "yep, that's him alright, I remember him that way too." I realized that a lot of my dealings with people are in reaction to those years of emotional abuse from him and emotional beating downs he gave me. Now, because I am free from it, I simply fight back and have this fear I'm going to get backed into a corner again, emotionally and simply will not allow it. It makes it hard for me to have good communications. I noticed it on my job too and it's something I'm going to have to work through and will probably take me many more years. So, I'm sorry if the fall-out from that abuse has fallen on your head, I didn't mean to hurt anyone. So, to answer your question, no, Joseph, I don't dislike you - quite the opposite.
