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In Reply to: thanx 4 sorry... posted by ray on July 12, 2002 at 08:33:01:
Don't worry, when I'm tired and grouchy everyone gets the terse and cold response, not just you, husband, children, the guy knocking on the door for whatever, so don't think it's you.
Let's see, I went back and looked at my post and I guess I wasn't very clear. I said I never understood THE men in the F. who had second wives and didn't care about how they jeapordized their original family or their first wife's feelings, and I should have cleared that up by saying, not everyone falls into that category and I don't know that you did.
Beside that point, just the fact that you chose to have a second wife for whatever reasons, it would help me understand the male ideas and especially from someone who was involved in that and then let it all go. I know how most women feel about it, but haven't heard too much about the male ideas. (Don't worry, your family jewels are safe.) There's Lydia's husband. Did you know they had a 3-some? It was his idea to leave the F., not Lydia's - at least not at first. They were worried about their children and rightly so. I don't know why he had a second wife but they all seemed happy with the idea. Of course, she was quite the FFer and it probably didn't matter to her. She can fill you in on the details. Anyway, when they left and started reading the word they felt it wasn't something they should be practicing so they found the second wife a husband. I think they are still in the F. I found that all interesting. My situation of course was much different and hence my sour outlook on the whole thing.
I also saw many sisters being hurt this way. There was one sister that ended up without ANY of her children while her husband got the second wife and all the kids. She ended up wandering around from home to home looking quite lost and like a zombie of sorts. It was pitiful. These are the kind of men I wonder about - not saying you were like that.
I just wonder from a man's point of view how they felt about all this when they chose to bring in another woman. You know, so often when I talk with men who were never in the F. or didn't know about it and they hear all the gory details, they almost always say, "Wow, now that sounds like a man's world." I wonder if men would be happy to have many wives or be able to cheat when they felt like it - if there was no retribution, do you think they would?
