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In Reply to: Re: Oh, wow, WC-and it gets tricky indeed posted by marina on July 11, 2002 at 10:10:28:
I believe that victims of the family suffered varying degrees of abuse. I also believe that victims of the family deal with that abuse in stages and with different abilities. I don't doubt that many survivors who are on these boards know what it is to feel suicidal, and that of those a significant number have attempted or seriously considered suicide. No, it doesn't make anybody stronger or better if they have moved on. I think of the movie "Sleepers" and the role played by Brad Pitt. I related so much to his role. The devastation to that group of boys was severe. Some died, some lived, some existed in life not really even knowing why. Numb. Living dead. The "Family" as I am certain that you know, has many casualties, as in people that have died as a result of what they have been through. There are living casualties, too. I have felt like that numb living dead person all my life, because I was abused a lot in my family of origin and also after exiting the family as well. I am not better because I am still alive. But since I am still alive, I want to feel better. I do know what it is like to take medications, for PTSD and Major Depression. And I know what it is like to have very limited access to help. But somewhere inside of me there is a shred of hope still left. That doesn't make me better, it just means I am still alive. I want to hang on to that. I want to believe that I can get past this and have some pleasure in life. Will it take my past away, will I move on? No, I don't see it as taking my past away, but I do want to have some pleasure in life, or else what is the point. I think those that died may speak louder than anyone alive if their stories are told to expose the Family and any other perpetrating organization. I have heard of or known of many casualties of the family that paid with their lives, the ones that were known within the group as well as the unknown ones and I honor them all. And I also honor the ones still alive, and want to believe that as long as they are still alive there is a hope. I like the idea of a support group board where there is a focus on healing. When I say this, I consider healing to involve every stage of grief. At whatever place an individual is at, for however long they need to be there. Without expectation of "arrival" at a specified destination. I don't know you Marina, and you don't know me, but I would not be surprized to find a lot of common ground. I would like to know you better, and be a supportive person to you, and others that seek the same.
