|
In Reply to: Re: Hitler Berg, Jews (by "looking back as a survivor") posted by kerry on July 06, 2002 at 15:01:06:
I read your post a couple of times. I think I get what you are saying now (sometimes our written thoughts might lose something we are trying to say) - You are saying that you were invited back to the F. but prefer to be here discussing these new insights with us here on the site - am I correct? If that's the case, I'm so glad you are getting the help that you need. I think I might know the point that you are at. It was very similar for me.
Even though I left a F. home in 1989 I was still tithing for a whole year. I tried to keep up the same F. practices and reading of Berg letters because I thought the F. was my salvation. Once I realized that Berg was a false prophet and I did not have to tithe, I did not have to follow Berg, I did not have to live in a F. home to be truly following God or find peace with God, it was a liberation and a shock both at the same time. I went on to learn many things but my most troubling question was why I continued to tithe and try and follow Berg even after I left a F. home and even after I knew so many of those things to be wrong - it caused me a lot of confusion and many years of probing and tearing apart the old to get to the truth. I sincerely believe that (like you) I thought God had led me to the F. On that premise I built my whole foundation.
The F. was a great group of young people with so much energy, enthusiasm, happiness, and a sense of family that it overcame us with joy and we thought we had found "IT" - I, too, no longer needed to smoke, I no longer needed drugs, I was convinced I had found the answer to all the world's troubles, that's how happy I was. Well, we may have found God or we may have found peace in our surroundings and that is all good and well, but we did know what the underlying issues were. We did not know we were being love-bombed and that in the background, behind the scenes, many bad things were happening. We were innocent and ignorant and that IS NOT OUR FAULT.
The first and most important thing to do is to quit blaming yourself and beating up yourself for your mistakes or blunders or whatever you think you did wrong. You simply did what you thought was right and Berg and his dogma used your innocense and need for a family, need for companionship, and your vulnerable state for his own purpose. It suited him and he knew how to make the best of it for his own desires.
We have all been through the same things and so many of us came out with very little self-esteem. That has been one of my biggest and hardest sore points and causes me a lot of trouble in my everyday dealings with people. The thing is, when you recognize things for what they are, why they are happening, what brought them on, it is a big step in learning to cope and recognizing them for what they are and dealing with them. Stick around, you are going to learn a lot! I have complete confidence in you!
