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In Reply to: Re: Hitler Berg, Jews (by "looking back as a survivor") posted by kerry on July 06, 2002 at 15:01:06:
Kerry, I am convinced my ex-wife is a terrible person and this view is supported by many who know her. She damaged me and my children's lives in a very big way. I can say in all honesty, I wish I had not met her. But to say that, I would be taking away from the existence of the beautiful children that we made together. So I can only say, in my strong and not-so-generous opinion of her, that the only good thing to come out of our relationship was the children.
Berg mixed in a lot of truth with his lies, or it would not have been so appealing. So it is natural he did some damage along with any good he accomplished. Asking how Berg could have done good in your life and yet be responsible for so much damage in others might not be the right question. Remember? Berg did after all do tremendous damage to your life, calling you a "weak sister", condemning your wife, leaving you without support in your greatest time of need, etc. Perhaps the only good thing to come out of your involvement with Berg then was your faith. Perhaps a good way to look at it is that that is between you and God. He happened to use Sam and his wife to help you with your life because they were at the right place at the right time.
Not everything is measurable by the Lk 14:33 yardstick. That was an idea used by the Family to make you feel worthless unless you were living with them.
Leaving the group is not just changing geographical locations, but working through our belief system. Your past 20 years need some sorting out, and maybe you need some help getting that done. It is not unusual for us feel lost when we exit the group mentally emotionally and spiritually. Shedding an illusion is a very painful and confusing thing. Please don't think automatically like you have been trained, that you must be out of God's will or disobedient.
You may not be able to wish the last 20 years didn't happen, just like I can't wish I never met my horrible ex-wife, but something beautiful and very separate came out of your involvement with a very abusive leader/group - your faith, your children. It isn't dependant on The Family - it's between you and God, you and your children.
I can relate to you feeling very disoriented and lost - I never knew my parents either. But as Goth said, don't run to the Family again. Please try to remember the untruths the spread about you and Shula. Yes, it is life and death - it would be self-destructive for you to go back to a group that demolished you and your reputation, your personality, and also Shula's reputation. I urge you to speak with your daughter, the one who posted here. Is she available? It's hard to receive help from your own children, but sometimes they are the best ones to be there for you. You can also leave your tel no. if you want, by sending it to my email: ')
Hope you will respond. Take care!
Love and prayers
