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In Reply to: You Never Used Wacky Tobbaky? posted by Mike W. on June 27, 2002 at 11:53:54:
Well Mike, let me explain: (and this may be more than what you asked for, but then it gives me a chance to say a few things about myself, something I don't often do)
ever since I can remember, my father was a chain smoker. One of the things I could not stand was the smell of smoke. It made me feel very sick. I remember when around 4 or so, I was watching him shave in the bathroom while he was smoking. He looked at me and said, would you like to try? He put the cigarette close to my face, and encouraged me to put it between my lips. I did not like that at all. That is the closest I have EVER come to a lit cigarette. Was it because of THIS experience? I do not know. I think it may be more because of my personal chemical/psychological make up.
Of course, in the mid 60's the hazardous effects of tobacco smoking were not known, especially in a place like Southern Italy. That may make my father looks less like a strange person, but then he had always been a bit eccentric. He left when I was very young and I have never seen much of him, but I could always tell if he had been around by the smell of smoke.
Even later on, in my teen years, I remember never feeling any attraction for substances of any kind. I actually viewed them with a sense of suspicion. I was always concerned about safety.
I liked drinking moderately, and that was never forbidden in my culture. I had my first rum and coke at 13, in a disco. I have never gotten drunk once, and I don't know what being 'drunk' is like. I had seen other kids getting drunk, (my sister, by boyfriend, then) and I thought, how can anybody be so foolish. They did not seem to have fun at all, ending up doing stupid stuff, needing somebody else to help (me) and throwing up. (I just could not see the 'fun' in this at all. I was the one who had to end up cleaning up, and besided *somebody* had to be responsible since they did not seem to be :)
Yes, I have had a few glasses of wine on occasion but I cannot tolerate much alcohol. By tolerate I mean that at a certain point I just don't feel like having more. In fact, I am not even able to drink by myself. There are no alcoholics in my family of origin. To me a drink is a social event. You have to be at least 2 people to drink at all, otherwise it does nothing for me. :)
Furthermore, even though everybody around me drank coffee (in Naples Italy people drink espresso's all day long and even before going to bed) I did not drink any espresso until the age of 19! I remember the first time I had a double espresso (it was offered to me on a trip because I was not feeling well) I could barely sleep for 2 or 3 days. I felt drugged - literally. It was a very unpleasant experience and I wanted out of that state.
I am extremely sensitive to caffeine. In fact, since my health got worse lately, I had to 'give up' the only cup of coffee I had in the morning because I just could not tolerate even that much caffeine. That was like having to mourn for a while. (I like the stimulant effect, don't get me wrong, but I am so high strung in my neurons naturally that even that much makes everything go way too fast and produces anxiety - my autonomic nervous system was very damaged by many years of traumatic events, since my childhood - my mother was exceptionally abusive - and I have been having neuro-vegetative problems since the age of 11-12)
All of this to say, that maybe because I had an instinctive sense of what my make up is like, and the problems I explained, I never felt even the temptation to try much of this stuff. However, I do not know that it is to my credit, because I have not had to work on "resistance." :)
My 2 daughters smoke and would like to stop (and have attempted a few times) and I have friends who smoke. I don't think the use of any substance makes a person inherently better or worse than anybody else. I think general behavior, and what people do under the influence of anything counts more than anything else. It is a practical, NOT moral issue in my opinion. I do not understand the concept of 'morality' many Americans, many christians included, have.
