The serious consequences of mocking Penie's weenie

Below some foolish and ill-meaning ex-member had the audacity to mock King Penie's weenie. I want you to know, bitter one, that your post was motivated by religious jealousy. You're jealous that the Family is winning so many souls and accomplishing so much for God. You obviously have nothing better to do than to "sit in the seat of the scorners".

As the sayings go, "If you want to tell a lie, tell a big one." And "If you can't be a great man, then kill a great man." Or, to paraphrase these sayings, "If you can't be a great liar, then kill a great liar."

No, for your information, King Penie's weenie has not been able to erect properly ever since Daniel's post came out. We have tried viagra and every possible solution. King Penie took so much viagra that it left his entire body stiff, which was not a big help, as then he himself could not move his hand to perform the office of prayer and masturbation.

Worse yet, he accidentally left his viagra tablets in the kitchen and our dear cook accidentally thought they were garlic tablets and mixed them into the breakfast cereal. The entire home became so stiff by 10:30 AM that they were not able to hold a regular Cursing Our Enemies session. It got so bad that our Home even missed the worldwide "Curse Daniel & all SGAs" session.

As soon as dear Mama unstiffens, I will get her to read the final draft of our Official Apology, and it will be on its way to WS for a final proofing.