I hope you don't mind

I'm rambling again. I actually wrote this for a discussion group, but it's my 2-cents on the Family's self-absorption in itself:


I got ahold of this from another website and am wondering, what exactly is the Family's reconciliation plan with exmembers? I'm an exmember and haven't heard anything about it. Is it only for exmembers who approach the group and want to still be friends, or is being extended to any and all, including those who are obviously fed up with the group and its leadership?

And it looks like Ricky made it to the Family's ever-growing list of bitter dissenters. I wonder why I haven't made it there, perhaps I have and don't know it, ha ha! It irks me that Maria feels we all need prayer, it's sort of a slap, sort of a ridicule that we are so desperately sad, lonely, in need of help, that they have to pray for us. I would prefer they just let us alone and let us live life, let us sort out our past, and give us that much respect. Is it such an awful thing that we have left the group? Are we doing so badly? Are we really in such dire straits?

Things like this message below certainly do their part to push me further away from the group, in hopes of never joining again.

And I don't understand why the Lord would want to wait so long to announce Ricky had left, I mean, people were going to find out anyway, they could have just put a sentence or paragraph in a pub somewhere so that at least people were aware instead of hearing rumors and wondering about it, I hate that, just hate it, finding out information through rumors and your leadership announcing it way too late. And how would you judge that we have fallen into the Enemy's wiles, it is only by one standard only, theirs, not ours. It's a very biased viewpoint.

And what would they be afraid of about this documentary, Berg taught us, "If the truth kills, let it kill!" Even if negative or bad, if it's the truth, why shouldn't it be spoken. If the group is as pure as it proclaims, there should be nothing to hide from, nothing to be scared about, nothing to pray against. I hope that documentary gets finished soon and we know more about the truth of young people's lives in the group.

And to say that negative peer pressure like that can lead to bitterness where none existed, well, I don't know about that. I think bitterness is there, anger, frustration, and knowing that you're not alone in your struggle with these feelings really helps you get a grip on it and face it and get over and on with it. It's a fact, many people leaving the group have these feelings, first you struggle with condemnation and guilt, then comes confusion, anger and bitterness, and if you remain in that cycle, then yes, it eats away at you and disturbs your mental health. But if you get it out, you face it, you vent it, usually, I think many can testify, you are able to put it in its place, put your past in its place, and start to rebuild your life. People have been hurt by the group, but its doctrines, teachings and policies. To deny this is like ignoring an infection that has set into your wounds, which can lead to gangrene or death, and in your life can lead to insanity, cause I was seriously almost there.

I was trying so hard to be positive, to close my eyes to the questions, to the doubts that I had for years "rebuked in Jesus' name" and resisted, and wrapped up in faith, but when I got them out, when I heard from other people who had gone through the same as me, when I faced reality, then I could really get on with it. It takes time, it didn't happen overnight, but healing always takes time.

One thing I find interesting is that the Family members must feel very important to have all these hot demons on their trail that they are now defeating. I mean, yeah, I always felt important that I was doing such a great job and the devil was fighting so hard to pull me down. Now I don't feel so important, at least not in the sense of my place in God's kingdom and the fight against the devil, but I am happy and I am enjoying the life God has given me without the pressures of all these demons on my back constantly looking for my weaknesses and a chance to get in.

If I may question one thing, aren't Bacchus and Pan part of the mythology deity? What about the other "demons" or gods, do they have any pasts? Biblically or otherwise? And I remembered something else. When we had few videos to watch many decades ago, one of the few approved was "The Lion the Witch and the Wardrobe", for which I was certainly suprised we were allowed to watch it, since Cinderella was out the question. But in the above mentioned cartoon, one of the main characters, I forgot his name, is the physical form of the god Pan. the half goat, half person guy who plays a lute. I am quite sure of this cause I was deeply into mythology from ages 11 to 14, and read whatever I could get my hands on concerning it. But in the cartoon he is a good guy, and I thought, at least at that time when the group was so extreme in restrictions, why was this approved as OK? It had a witch (who was obviously evil) and Pan (who was obviously good). The parallels of Jesus and Aslan are true, and I find the whole series (the Chronicles of Narnia) to still be one of my personal favorites, but as a teen (16) who was trying to form my beliefs (at the time adopting the Family beliefs) it was a little confusing to watch this cartoon with the Pan character being good and all, knowing that Pan was a god of mythology and that Berg recognised those gods as demons and part of pagan religion. Just one of those confusing things as a kid.

Well, anyway, I think the Family is a little afraid of persecution, court cases, stuff like that. Really, if a court case were to be brought up which used the ex-youth, I do wonder what the group's chances of winning would be? No wonder they are praying against it. If you are innocent then you have nothing to fear, nothing to worry about. And if God is on your side..well..there's no worries, right?

And, what is dirty about the truth? Is it the devil's dirty deeds that are fighting the Family, or is it their own mistakes, misdeeds and wrong moves that are causing or going to cause them trouble?