Need some help from other parents whose kids have gone to jail

Date Posted: 00:33:21 06/21/02 Fri
Author: Karen
Subject: Need some help from other parents whose kids have gone to jail

Well, as you probably read further on down the board, my son Zack (who got his eyes burned last Sunday) is not doing so well. He just turned 19 last month. He is obviously involved with drugs, at least ecstasy. He has become involved with a gang here (rumor has it that he got beat in last week - he did tell me that he thought he had broken some ribs and he has a nasty burn on his arm that has become infected). My husband saw him riding around in an old station wagon with about 6 guys who all had on the same bandanas.

He was arrested today for violation of probation (he stole a video game from Walmart a year ago and never finished his community service or monthly visits to the probation officer, no matter how much I begged him). He was also arrested for burglary and breaking and entering. I didn't believe it was true at first because he so adamantly denied having anything to do with the situation when we first heard about it. But last night he told me the police wanted him to come this morning to ask some questions as they said they had witnesses that put him at the scene of the crime. I begged him to tell me the truth, no matter how bad it was. I told him I could cope with just about anything except if my kids lied to me about something like that. He assured me that he was not there and had no part of what they were investigating. So I let him go - alone - to the police station.

Next thing I know, I was getting calls from my kids at work that he was in jail with a $12,000 bail. Well, he will be sitting there in jail because we don't have that money, nor can we come up with the 10% and put our house as collateral for the rest. Especially since we don't even know what is the truth. Rumor has it that he did break into 4 houses with his minor friends to find someplace to drink. I don't think they would have arrested them if they did not have some pretty good evidence. In fact, I believe he did admit to having something to do with it. I don't know where the burglary part comes in - I haven't heard that anything was stolen.

I am sick, very disappointed that he could not tell me the truth, and horribly devastated that he has ruined his life. I wanted so much for him - he was so intelligent and could have done so much with his life. On the other hand, I am very relieved that I know where he is, and that tonight he will not overdose on drugs (hopefully) or do something with his gang banger friends that might hurt someone, or commit some more horrible crime.

If anyone who has had kids that have gone through this, and I know there are a few who have, I would appreciate any comments you have about any aspect of this. I have no idea how long he will be in jail. I think maybe having violation of probation will make his situation a whole lot worse - maybe that is why his bail is so high. Any suggestions would be most welcome and appreciated.