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In Reply to: That's OK, maybe it wasn't so clear posted by Angry and hurt on June 19, 2002 at 07:32:25:
This has been an interesting conversation to observe. I realize that there are many adults who are sorry and regretful for their decisions, and it's good to have some confirmation on this. It's easier to forgive when the offending party is sorry for their actions or the actions they allowed their children to be exposed to.But my father for example, thinks he has given me some kind of heritage that I am now turning my back on. Knowing the mentality he must cling to in order to feel this way, makes it difficult for me to look at him as a mentally sound person, and someone that deserves respect. I think it's ignorant of him to think that my life and views should take on a path similar to his, all because of a spiritaul (a.k.a drug) experience he had at the age of 16. On the other hand, my mother (who didn't raise me) left the group because she didn't want her children to be affected by a bad decision she made. I'm proud of her and any other ex-fam parents for letting her/their parental instincts kick in. As for my dad, he now has another little family which I think he's doing the best he can with, but I honestly think it's just too late for me. In a recent letter I received from him, he stated clearly that although I'm in the world I don't have to be a part of it (a.k.a systemite). I've worked hard to become the person that I am and to overcome many of the seeming handicaps that I was thrown to the world with, and to have a parent minimize it all is upsetting to me.
When I was 11 years old, a 14 year old girl stayed in our home for a couple months. She had a little baby, and the father of the child was a Fam adult who had a wife and kids of his own. I remember calculating the age difference between myself and the young mother, and was nothing short of terrified that one day in the next several years I could be called upon to do have sex with some adult. I'm sorry, but I think fears such as those are not ones that little girls are supposed to have. In my opinion, my father's parental instincts should have kicked in right about then, brain-washed or not. But they never did, and by him thinking that he bestowed on me some kind of heritage, I can only believe that he is not really sorry for anything that did or could have happened to me.
