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In Reply to: Re: sex with children, gay and heterosexuals and celibacy posted by marina on June 16, 2002 at 09:55:42:
When I was 8 years old back in 84, there was this single guy who must have been in his late 20's at the time, who used to sneak in my bed EVERY night in the middle of the night. He would feel me up and force my hand to do the same. I was so repulsed, but I didn't want to get in trouble with my dad who used to prompt me to show affection by saying, "go give uncle-so-and-so love!" It was then my duty to go sit on some strange guy's lap and give him "hugs and kiss". I was a smart kid though, and I finally figured out that the way to make this creep stop his behaviour was to be really mean to him during the day. I was repulsed by, and scared to death of this dude so it wasn't too difficult as long as I wasn't caught by my dad who didn't like it when I wasn't loving to people. Pu-lease. For a long time a had difficulty showing affection to anyone, friends and lovers included, but I finally realized where it stemmed from. My protection device that protected me over the years carried over into who I was and how I behaved. I can face it now though, and although it doesn't take much for a guy to give me the creeps, the behaviour doesn't affect the ones I love as I can now distinguish between creeps and genuine people who I love and care for.
