Correspondance from an SGA

I thought you would be interested in this bit of correspondence I have been having with another SGA who left about 3 years ago, spent most of that time in guilt about her "weak" spirit, and just came to a "rude awakening" through reading the James Penn letter and other things. Hope you find it an interesting insight too! (PS, this is put here by permission, in case you're wondering)

The same thing happened to me that happened to your brother, I was most interested in our own youth and not so much into "saving the lost" or "having a heart for the sheep". At the time, I was very guilty about it and thought I was some horrible sinner.

But now I question the whole thing: why did we put helping the poor beneath saving their souls? Why was the most important thing to get them to say a prayer word for word that is not even anywhere in the Bible? How is that "saved"? And what is "saved"? If people wanted to be a Buddist or a Hindu and all their ancestors had been and they were fine with that, then who are we to convince them otherwise? Why were we so special? And if we had a heart for them, then why did we constantly ask them for donations or make them buy our tools? Why did we go into some poor man's fabric shop and provision from him, where is the "heart for souls" in that?

Now, I tend to think that God has His eye on all of this, and He'll sort it all out in the end. If some people want to perceive Him in one form or another, why would He care? As for me, I still am very much a Christian, and that never really changed, there was never really a shaking of my faith on that point, even when all the rest of my foundation fell. I just knew Jesus was love and that I knew Jesus personally. But as for joining a church or a religion ever again in my life, I have to say I absolutely would never do it again. The Bible is just too open to interpretation and I'm through with doctrines and theories and interpretations.

I agree that as young people in our group we grow up quickly in some ways, and are years behind in others. There are a lot of concepts I still haven't been able to grasp. Like being an American, for example. Yesterday, while stopped at a light, I glanced up at a large American flag waving in the wind. (They're all over the place now, even since 9/11.) And I stared at it, trying to make myself feel something, patriotism, respect, loss, anything. But, having grown up with a hatred of America, I couldn't muster up any emotion at all. And, when I really examine it, America has gotten a bad name from our group that it doesn't really deserve. Yes, it bullies other countries, engages in cover ups, starts wars, all sorts of terrible things. But so does every other country on earth! And the very reason David Berg could spout so many of his own ideas and views was because he was living in a country that supported his freedom to do so, even if they didn't agree with it.

Being an American, which I was ashamed of for so long, means that I can live in a place where I can say whatever I wish, go after any job or education level I choose, even as a woman. That I can invest in a mostly organized government, have the right to vote in mostly free elections and raise children with the same freedoms. If the Family expected America to be perfect, well, that will never happen. But I think also that the group also needed a "Babylon" to condemn, and the States fits that bill so perfectly.

T--'s dad is being a bit of a dick right now. All the kids are very disillusioned with him. I met him last year in Atlanta, along with their mom, at C--s house. They all came for a reunion so all the kids were together, but he seemed very out of place, and he totally looked like a WSer. Long, stringy, gray ponytail, worn out jeans, lopsided glasses. Typical. Anyway, J-- was starting a new business and with no credit history (you know how that goes), he asked his dad to sign some paperwork to back him up. But his dad refused, and C-- wrote to him asking, "Can't you do this one thing for Jamie to be his father?" The dad wrote back and basically rebuked them saying that he was "on the wall" and had a new life to tend to now. So sad!

Why isn't taking care of the responsibilities God gives you in the form of your children a priority at all with these people? This strikes me very personally, because my flesh father is still in the group. He and my mother were married only a short while, long enough to have me, and then they split up. My mother married a wonderful man soon after who I am proud to call my father, but my dad also re-married and had six more children with her. Then, six weeks after the youngest was born, he dropped them all off with his parents and 'forsook all' to re-join the group in Mexico. Now, years later, the kids are growing up and my half sister just got married and had a baby, and still nothing from dad. He's blissfully unaware of how much he has hurt them all, damaged them all, and thinks that he'll be greatly rewarded in heaven for his good decision.

(end of correspondence)