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In Reply to: Re: Hi Mekka - sleepless nights posted by Mekka on May 28, 2002 at 09:48:11:
I'm going to go to my dream records and see what they say about being murdered means. There is a dream expert who writes regular columns and I save them when I find them. She has really opened up my eyes to how our dreams are our psyche talking to us. Perhaps it's your way of punishing yourself for the mistakes you think you've made in your life.
Listen, Mekka, if anyone made some terrible mistakes, it was me. You were smarter and got out a lot sooner, good for you. The thing that always keeps me going is the Mother's Day cards my son gave me for the first 5 years or so, every card he would profusely thank me for taking him out of the F. He didn't condemn me. Stop condemning yourself. Hindsight is always easy, after the fact.
I have a lady friend here who is very sorry for her mistakes and that she didn't do things differently in her life and she was never in the F. She doesn't let it take her down, though. I admire her for that. It encourages me. You don't have to have made the stupid mistake of joining the F. to feel bad about your past, there are many more people like that who just go on and do the best with what they have, TODAY.
I was discussing this with my daughter, she also feels bad that she wasted a year and didn't start college and that she got a junky car with her student loan, she feels very depressed about it. But she told me one day that she doesn't want to think about the past and made me promise not to talk about all our mistakes. So I wrote a poem for her. When I get a chance, I will post it here.
