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In Reply to: Hello posted by Mekka on May 28, 2002 at 02:06:35:
A few years after leaving the Family, when my life finally got comfortable enough so I could afford to start dealing with my earlier traumatic experiences (from in the Family and before), I started having PTS syndrome. One symptom of that was I would find myself waking up unable to breathe, with my air passages completely blocked and swollen, choking on my own tears - whatever I wasn't allowing myself to feel was getting through to me in my sleep, when I couldn't keep my guard up any longer. It was scary in that it could happen unpredictably, with weeks days or months in between. But when it happened it was so terrifying, feeling like you can't breathe and you're going to die in your sleep. So the next thing was I started avoiding sleep... One of the scariest things I ever went through was getting to a point where I didn't sleep at all for 2 years straight. I was wired up... man, I don't ever want to get there again! I'm glad those days are gone.
