life on your own

My experience in the Family has changed me because of the word. I know how accountable I am for what I know about God's love. being a non church person I don't have fellowship. I've been on the front line caring for a blind person in his 80's. MY WIFES DAD. He faded out lost his mind but I was his friend and buddy the whole way. He lived with us till he died. 5 years diapers and all. God made me know what to do and to give him companionship. The Lord gave us strength.
Now I'm working 2 fulltime jobs and managing these apartments also and financialy crashing. My mother in law has been livivg with us also but she finally had to go to the hospital. Were close and she needs us badly I feel so alone because of my experience in the fmily which makes me have a hard time relateing to people who live in the world and need the truth. So blind I think but now me to. I used to know everything and now I finally found out I know kothing. Now I'm a backslider. who in the Family will talk to me. I'm in the system and a goner just be nice to him he's lost . So where do you find positive encouragement. I buzz around and read the posts. I was encouraged when someone said I was not week to have raised my children after IRFER'S beware. The week sister thing I'm not a gifted writer sorry. I'm just going through lots of stuff. how does everyone of you cope day to day with your burdens? You all seem pretty gifted and I am glad for the encouragement you have given me. I wish i could get it all out but maby later. Some of you have really suffered some hard things. How does your life work now and how do you relate to everyone in the world. I was a anti Vietnam draft dodger but my sons were in the Navy and the other a Sargent in the Marines whow holly cow my bottle. I still have trouble with the big stick attitude of the US any way thanks all
maby I'll finally send one I've deleated the last five or so. I'm going to kiock the gong