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In Reply to: Comparing two situations posted by Donny on September 13, 2003 at 12:19:48:
As I said I am in communication with Jered about all this. I don't want to be rushed into anything.
All this about me soliciting a young minor for sex is pure fiction, am not worried about it at all, I am not concerned as to what people want to believe or not bilieve.
I know in my own heart what the truth is and I have nothing, I mean absolutely nothing to worry about.
Even if I did something like that, as horrible as it is, there is forgivness and repentence. But I can't even ask for forgivness and repentence for something I have not done.
Well, I was not going to get into all this, but I will try to respond as to the Love Bridge situation.
It is a long story, I was going to write some kind of statement, I was going to take my time and think things through but I am being rashed, and I guess I will present my side of the argument.
Firstof all,as a way of backround, before writing this newsletter I wrote the earlier one about Faithy. When I was writing the one about Faithy, I called Faithy to get her side of things and she did not answer. I even e-mailed that couple that was involved in that terrible and tragic accident, where both them and their baby died. (I hope it was not more than just an accident!) Anyway, I did not get any response from them, and was shocked to hear thereafter of the loss of their lifes. As my only contact for info about Faithy was Barney, I relied a lot on him for my information.
Earlier on Barney had given me some false info which I had past on to various people around the world. When I realized it was false info, I contacted every one of these people to let them know.
So when I wrote my newsletter I had to say that although I am using the info from Barney I have to say to my readers that Barney's info is not reliable. I was in danger of ofending my only source, but I had to make that desclamer anyway.
The point is that as far as my info about Faithy I went out of my way to double-check my info.
Let's move on to my last newsletter. I wrote Gary telling him that I wanted to check my info with him about FCF in my newsletter that I was writing so that there will be no error, or something to that effect. That was sent to the regular FCF e-mail address. I did not get a reply. I sent another e-mail to his own e-mail address, again no reply.
Think about it, here is the man that is in charge of all the FCF groups around the world. Him and I know each other. If he had told me then that a certain group was soon to be going out of the FCF network, I may had taken into considerations what he was saying. But even then, how do I know he was not lying.
Are you aware of the fact that he lied that he did not write "I Felt like a Shmuck but I shtuck"?
That is like Berg denying that he wrote "Diamonds of dust."
But I could at least put some kind of statement like "According to Grant Mongomery, president of FCF, such and such a group is no longer in the Family and will soon move out of the FCF network".
The same happened when I called SSU. The girl kept putting me on hold, sounded nervous and denied SSU is part of the Family or FCF I don't remember which. I did get a letter from Solomon also, but he denied he is even a member. If you remember I said in my newsletter that I was 99.999% sure, that he was a member. There was plently of evidence that I would had been rather safe in saying that he is a member, and later on there was an additional post saying that most definetly, Solomon is a member. It is an anonymous post, so I don't know who wrote it, I don't know him or her, so I still don't present this new evidence as proof.
Proof, or saying I know 100% that Solomon is in, or Jered is out is something that I just can't do until I really know.
I agree somewhat with what you said that Cristina couldn's denouce Berg the way she did if she still believed in Berg or was in the Family. I have to disagree with you however that that by itself should be suffecient to establish beyond a shadow of a doubt that she is out.
Look at recent history, if they can deny that Berg pushed child-adult sex, if they can claim it was all a communication problem, if Zachias can lie that he was never in the Family, then I say, all things are possible to him who lieth.
I remember during the infiltration days that I was put in a position where I was forced to lie. I realized how creative you can become when you
are a liar. It left a very bad taste in my mouth and made me hate lying more than ever.
Am I saying Christina is lying. No, I am not. One of the things that helps me in moving in her direction is that nobody can write such an emotional letter and not mean it. But even then, the Family has lied so much, as in "Deceivers yet True" that the burden of proof is on them.
I didn't care too much for Jered's letter from what I can remember of its content, it came out sort of pr and I didn't like his threat of legal action. I don't think he meant it when I said it, and people should not talk about legal action unless they mean it.
Before I forget, when I wrote to Solomon I said that dispite the fact that we are opposed to each other, etc., I felt that there should be some basic communicationnbetween us at some point, so that someone as myself can enquire about some basic factsand have the confidence that the response from the Family is truthfull.
What was his response? He lied about everything and even at this point I can't say with assurance that he is 100% in.
Talking of legal action, as you may remember, some time ago Gery contacted exfamily and hinted at legal action if some of the content was not changed. I believe some of the info on exfamily was edited and maybe it should had been edited if there was some error of some kind.
I don't know much of the innerworkings of ex-family. I do believe it is the best site. But I remember hearing that some people had gotten nervous and even fearfull of Gary. Please correct me if this is not so.
One of the reasons I wrote my newsletter was to call Gary's bluff. The info I put in my newsletter, including info about Gary was very stong, and if he had any reasons to take legal action against exfamily, he would have had much more reason to take me to court, which he didn't.
To shove it a little more into his face, I sent the newsletter to various FCF fronts, I have to check my records to see if I sent it to FCF directly. I don't remember sending it to Love's Bridge, though I might have.
I also sent it to the Family, and they responded to me twice telling me to stop sending these newsletters to them and that they don't want to discuss anything with me.
I posted both their reactions on ex-Family and one was posted on movingon.
Now, I haved to explain that each time I was sending these newsletters I felt I was breaking new ground.I don't know how to explain it, but it was hard.
But someone, possibly the Family had stollen my domain names and I was asking them if they knew anything about who did that, and at the same time I was using the opportunity or excuse to sent them my newsletter.
I got some replies, as for example from Side-by-side.
I feel very strange at the suggestion that I should had contacted every single front group to double-check for info.
One of their apologists that they lie to can easlily pick up the phone and ask them, but me?
Don't you remember who I am? The Devil, marshalling my forces, the one they have been cursing for years, etc, etc, etc.
Some academic called me and I understand he is in contact with the Family for an article or some kind of encycolphedia on cults he is writing. He said he know about my policy of "no confidentiality agreements" and he wanted to see if I would keep it confidential that he was working with me. He was evidently affraid the Family wouldn't even talk to him if they found out I was talking with me!
And even if I had contacted Love's Bridge, how could I have believed that they had left. Even if the sent me Jered's letter to Maria. What does that really prove?
Don't think I am beeing hard. In fact the biggest part of me believes they are out of the Family and coming out of FCF. But that does not mean I can go now to my website and declare to the whole world that I know for sure they are out. Life is not like that. It doesn't work like that.
But I will make a statement that comes the closest to it. I will make a very short statement and give them the benefit of the doubt.
Now this is all about the last year or so, the time they have been out.
But for many years, they were not out, they were in. They were in when loving Jesus was going on,
free sex at 16 and then 14, messages from Jesus telling minors to perform oral sex with each other.
Are you suggesting that I take all that out? I can't do that. That is simply history.
But there is life after the Family and Russians are not as uncivilized as you might thing. They understand like everybody else that people leave cults and return to normal.
But as you know it is not that automatic and a lot of the cult remains in you.
I think it is only fair that the Russian people know of their backround. Persoanally I believe that honesty is the best policy and the best route for them to take is to denounce the cult in the strongest way possible.
It is also a matter of trust, the more they become and remain transperent the more we get to know them, trust and believe them. I don't believe any of this should sound strange or unreasonable.
I don't know if you have read any of my poststo them, you probably have. I can't include all my thought here, maybe I have forgotten some points I was going to make.
I read that section where two Christinas are mentioned in the same paragraph. I didn't understand what the problem was, it seems rather clear that I am talking about two Christina. One of them active in Dallas the other in Russia. Maybe people will misunderstand that she was in Dallas then moved to Russia? I will read it again.
This reminds me a little of the editing I did in one of my booklets. When knew info cam I added it along with what I had said previously. I didn't know how much to believe the new info, so I just added it alongside the old. Then years later some new info came and I then saw that the second generation info though accurate was not as accurate, and in fact the old info was also accurate to a large degree. In other words, the point I am trying to make is that getting to the truth is a step by step by step process. Taking small steps is much wiser that taking this huge, from black to white step, only to latter realize you presumed to much.Again this is not about Jered in particular, but just how I generally like to proceed.
I am running out of things to say, though if I had the time to read all my notes and go over the many posts on the subject that I would probably have a lot more to say.
Bottomline is I am not against what Jered and Christina are doing, not at all, in fact I am on their side. I understand what they are doing.
I hope they try to understand a little of what I am doing, or why I am doing what I am doing.
I don't like threats that go on for ever. If you want to ask me about something specific or make a comment, it could be maybe done better by e-mail.
Take care. I don't thinkyou will be satisfied with my answers. But it is no secret that we have differing views.
Sam Ajemian
