Posted by A father on April 14, 2006 at 14:57:54
In Reply to: Child abuse posted by Angie on April 14, 2006 at 05:08:09:
Before I joined the COG, I wouldn't have thought I was capable of giving children harsh physical discipline. Having grown up with a lot of physical violence, I was heading for the opposite direction, where I wouldn't want to hit a child at all. But I joined the COG while I was still a teen myself, without having fully formulated my own ideas about discipline and raising children.
Soon I became a teen father and my ideas about raising children were easily influenced by the COG, by Berg's ideas of "spare the rod, spoil the child." I was taught to use violence as a solution to solving problems, to smack a child on the mouth, to spank with a paddle, to wash out mouths with soap, to make children face the wall, to put fear and respect into children. Some of this was what I grew up with myself, so it wasn't clear to me I was being abusive. What did prick at my conscience was how much I found myself doing it to my own children. Although I was sometimes left in charge of other people's children, I think I only ever hit someone else's child once.
I once saw a father beat his child very severely and throw him out the door, saying he was disowning him. The child was 2 years old. That bothered me a lot, but at the time I didn't know how to tell him it was wrong, because I thought I was not supposed to get between, and the father was trying to do his duty as a father. But it really bothered me.
There is alot of material on this site where Berg teaches harsh discipline. Those were the justifications. We were taught to raise our children according to Berg's ideas of harsh discipline for children outlined in the bible.
Even after I left I was a harsh disciplinarian. It took me years to change, but I have since apologized to my children admitting that Iwas really wrong to them.
If there is anything more you want to know, please ask.