Posted by jo on March 24, 2004 at 18:26:17
In Reply to: Further Considerations posted by Carol on March 18, 2004 at 19:40:42:
I relate to the girl who did not like to be touched at all. Certainly abuse effects people in different ways.
I can also better understand the horrible sense of betrayal in befriending someone that seemed genuinely remorseful for what was supposedly a one time situation of "coercion" when it was actually something repeated.
And I can better understand how many SGs have such a categorical distrust and loathing of FGs. I would also like to say that many of my comments that triggered bad feelings in you were not at all to defend perpetrators but out of a sense of shock and denial realizing the depths of what the family went to over time and how changed some people became that were very different when I knew them. I was also frustrated regarding my own losses and a need to grieve them somewhere safely amongst others of my age group that could relate. It is hard to have experienced so much abuse and feel like I am viewed as a monster. Those were my feelings, but not the facts. Also, some comments were to clarify the progression of insanity as far as what Berg taught and continued a downward spiral with and we all went down the proverbial toilet with him, some trying to cling to the sides of the bowl and some crawling out before the current got too far into the drain and some diving in for the love of shit.
I have also had to come to terms with the fact that, as you mentioned, people do, after repeated exposure, in many cases become quite another person. An example would be Sara D.
It is a lot to sort out. One exer that is FG who recently exited stated that most FGs that are CM still in are so busy trying to be the ideal shepherd and loaded down with tasks and bills etc, that they are pretty sold out to the family and would have a much harder time to seek out outside sources for help, also feeling this would be wrong to do. But SGs being born into the family and growing up despising all the insanity are more proficient at seeking out an exer board.
But some FG's do, especially once they leave for other reasons and then get to a point to seek out an exer site.
I also believe that once the focus got on FFing and sexualization then the caliber of people joining would be for a large percentage, people with perpetrator or sociopathic personalities.
I hope you are having success in helping others via your Safe Passage Program. I admire your courage and strength and solid presentation when you talk about your views.
I can see how very frustrating many of my posts in the past have come across to you, but I know where my thinking was while sorting so much stuff out. I am so sorry for what has happened to a whole generation of children, many now adults.