Posted by kinda gentler on February 11, 2004 at 17:47:52
In Reply to: Re: FCF Benefits from PR/ While Exers Ignored posted by Mr. Don on February 11, 2004 at 06:13:17:
I would have to say that it is a fallacy that we chose to join a sex crazed perverted cult. We joined something that presented itself as the answer to the worlds problems and had the answers for every individual. Outwardly at the time that most FG joined as youth themselves, often teens, the family presented a wholesome, honorable and loving appearance. The training and the breaking down were not by choice. They were submitted to because that is what we were told and believe was right and they were systematically reinforced. The rest was introduced over a long period of time, in increments. Fear of death and dire consequences which I know I BELEIVED would follow any disobedience was what kept me in during hard times. Separation from family, no place to go to, being in foreign countries, single with kids, etc. were also reinforcements. It took burn out for me and everything being in the right place at the right time to get out. I was only just barely 30 when I left with 3 kids and I came back to the states having not lived or visited it since I left with the family overseas 11 yrs before. Some of the ways I thought after I left is what is referred to as "Magical Thinking". For instance, someone I knew was in a car wreck and I thought it was God punishing me via hurting her since I had left the group. Those are the kinds of ways that people think in the family and for some time after getting out. So saying that joining was a "choice" as if we willingly joined something evil and sinister is fallacious. Also, leaving is something I consider myself as LUCKY to have been able to do. Had several things not been in place, it wouldn't have happened.
What I do see as worthwhile is helping any family member regardless of whether they are FG or SG or TG that wants to get out, to do so and to connect to resources. And as far as reparations go, there is severe damage done to FGs that gave their adolescence and building yrs to the family to leave as older people just starting to get on their feet.
I would not hold my breath for reparations, having been out for so long, but I do certainly believe that SGs have every right to that according to the extent of suffering they experienced. All the money in the world could not compensate it. But somehow, if and when a court case is brought forward and if it is won with a monetary sum, allotment of those funds is the next factor. (If class action).
So I am for supporting people wanting to leave, be they any "G". And supporting their recovery to whatever degree I can. I am not wealthy, and I do not have living space for additions, at this time anyway, but I do know of resources in my city and can be supportive as a contact person. I would love to do that.