Posted by Blondie on January 05, 2004 at 23:13:41
In Reply to: Re: the truth!!! posted by Michael on January 05, 2004 at 09:56:22:
Michael,
I see where you're coming from in that, yes, the Family has changed drastically over the years. The Charter prevents many "abuses" or problems (such as the overly tight "shepherding" you mentioned) that occurred from taking place again. Literature that encouraged child abuse (as far as I'm concerned there is no other way to see things like "The Davidito Book", "The Last State" and various doctrines or comments Berg made, especially in the 70's and 80's)was purged so there is no longer such a risk of people applying (or as TF puts it "misinterpreting") those particular publications.
The Family is not necessarily "worse" that normal society. Even most families in society at large probably have the odd "skeleton in the closet". And in society you, of course, have a abundance of creeps, perverts and criminals too.
I think the difference is - Society (as a whole) does not claim to live their lives by Christian principles of love and brotherhood. They do not claim to be Gods "Elite Troops" and devoted to emulating Christ. That is why people hold groups like TF to a different standard.
Another point is that often abuses (and, yes, there were actual abuses - sexual, physical and emotional - even if shepherds, or some FGs in the case of the 2nd gen, thought they were "acting out of love") have been downplayed by leadership as "unfortunate mistakes from our past which, under the Charter, should never happen again" or perhaps "misinterpretations of the Word by weak individuals". The admission that Berg had to shoulder (even in death) some responsibility for those "misinterpretations and mistakes" seemed token at most. If they really meant it why didn't they say it before there was no other choice?
Then there's the issue of people getting on with their lives, letting go of bitterness etc. I agree that it's definitely unhealthy to allow yourself to be consumed by bitterness. Bitterness is harmful. Experts outside of TF would say the same thing. However, that fact, should not be used to force people to forgive and forget or to minimize the harmful actions. It seems to me that many ex-members who, for whatever reason, choose not to "just walk away" but want some kind of personal redress or justice are labeled as "bitter, Vandari oppressed, apostates". Thus WS demonizes the victims instead of actively trying to help them. There is plenty of "help" in the form of "Word" on letting go of bitterness, relating to ex-member children, letting ex-members know that the Lord still loves them (ie. Take Me With You GN). That's great. What about something on coping with memories of sexual abuse, harsh physical punishment, extremely low self esteem etc. ? Or is it a bigger issue to just make these problems disappear. It's just unfortunate WS doesn't have one of those little "memory deleter" gadgets they had in "Men in Black". :-)
Don't take my last comment to mean that all memories of TF are bad. Perhaps for some people. You obviously have good ones. I had good times too. There are reasons that I left though, valid reasons. Things that I disagreed with too deeply to stay. I'm definitely resentful about some things. Bitter? Maybe. Forgiveness is granted and cannot be demanded. Am I demon possessed or maybe just oppressed (not that that's much better)? Am I an evil apostate because I do not speak well of TF?
My goal in life is not to destroy TF. People need to make their own decisions taking into account all the relevant information. My parents are still in the group. I don't want to tear them away from being missionaries. That is what they are happy doing. Is criticizing TF and criticizing God the same thing? Are God and TF one and the same? If not, why is it such a big deal to let "the truth" come out. You can't expect to find the complete truth on a chat board. No more than you find the whole truth in GNs and WS publications.
Take care,
Maria