Posted by female respondent on August 16, 2003 at 18:17:25
In Reply to: How's your sex life? posted by Researcher on July 20, 2003 at 02:04:00:
In Reply to: Re: How's your sex life? posted by Researcher on July 20, 2003 at 06:23:13:
1. FG, joined as teen
2. Been out since early 80's
3.Since leaving my attitude towards sex was shattered. I avoided it for the most part for many years. It is still traumatic at times as touch does not always feel good with my chosen partner due to the past.
4. I did not consider my sex life healthy or normal. I tried to avoid it while in because of lack of choice.
5.I view my sex life since leaving the family as damaged.
6. difficulties i experienced: unwanted sexual experiences, rape, voluntary under duress experiences (if that is not an oxymoron..) Pain at sex with someone I liked that I knew would be going away. Inability to have privacy during sex. The fam. was not a "sex-cult" when I joined, but turned into that after some yrs. Suffer PTSD as a result of the fam. sex shit.
7.Difficulties having sex with my partner. Anhedonia. (Lack of desire), avoided dating, relationships of any kind for over 15 yrs.
8. It was HONESTLY not at all anything to do with joining. (joined pre-ffing) and it was one of the main motivators for me to leave, incl. realizing that it would soon filter down to the kids, and already was at the top and in inner circles within the family. However, until i was out for awhile, I thought this was a weakness to think this way, rather than the actual STRENGTH that it was, thanks to family thought control.
9. WHAT "sexual freedom"? I never saw it as "sexual freedom" at all. If anything great bondage. After all in the "real world" adults have the choice to follow their own sets of values. Not so, ever, in the family.