Posted by Peter Frouman on November 18, 2002 at 23:45:30
In Reply to: Deceased COG/Family members - Can anyone add to this list? posted by Researcher on November 07, 2002 at 04:14:27:
I think a complete list would be quite long. I would guess several hundred people died while in the Family or after they left. Some recent cases I recall include the Family teens who died in a car accident in Austin in July 1995, a woman who died in a car accident in Bolivia a few years ago and a 19-year-old (Matt?) in California who killed himself last year. I'm sure there are many more. It was my general experience that deaths in The Family were usually kept quiet and when they were publicly discussed or revealed the circumstances were usually distorted or interpreted to put their own spin on it. Thus, if someone died of cancer, it was because they didn't trust the Lord to heal them, if they died in a car accident it was because they weren't vigilant against the Enemy or forgot to pray before starting the car, suicides were attributed to afflictions by demons and divine judgement and if an ex-member was brutally raped and murdered (for example, as described in IRFers Beware), it
was because she resisted and failed to submit to and show her rapist and murderer the love of God and becase she was a backslider. Certainly there were a few cases where the spin was positive rather than a negative attack and the memory of the deceased was respected. For example, if I recall correctly, in Abner's case (motorcycle accident?) there was the letter "Stand in the Gap" which I believe potrayed him positively. However, these cases seem to be rare and the usual reaction to deaths in the Family seemed to be either silence and ignoring it or a vicious attack on the deceased to make a point or warn the survivors.
In my immediate family, my mom (Ruth Frouman) died of breast cancer at the age of 37 and my brother Manoli died of pneumonia at the age of 20 about eight months after he left. It would be interesting to note how many members or former members died at an early age because the Family believed in trusting God to heal them rather than seeking medical treatment. I'm sure the numbers would be lower than in groups like the Jehovah's Witnesses (no blood transfusions) or Christian Science (faith healing) but they would undoubtedly be significant. Also, I'm sure the number of suicides would have been much lower if The Family had provided members with apropriate counselling and psychiatric care if necessary rather than the standard psychological and physical torment, torture and terror they provided to "problem cases" in Victor programmes and elsewhere. While it would be unfair to blame the Family for every death in the Family due to disease, suicide, accidents and acts of violence, they certainly have a lot of blood on their hands and in many cases it seems clear that they are morally (if not legally) responsible for what happened.