Posted by Acheick on April 08, 2002 at 17:02:43:
So someone told me today, so I wrote this:
It’s a Jungle Out There
I would rather have the jungle of the real world than the utopia facade paranoia of the F. and even it’s environs, i.e., hangers on in one form or another. Yes, it is a jungle out there or here – whether you happen to be looking in or out. Much like the character of Michael Douglas, Jr., in “Falling Down.” I certainly have been tempted to appear with an Uzi when some fast food joint refuses to serve me breakfast at 11:01 a.m., or the clinic closes it's doors at 11:58 a.m. for lunch because their clock reads different than mine. And I’ve been disillusioned upon finding out the world of bureaucracy was a sham with the rest of us a pawn in a cruel game where saving one’s own skin is the only object and there are no rules. The realization that war and war games are a political ploy made by men far removed from my life with little or no control from me, and I am resigned to withstand whatever evils that may befall me due to humankinds’ own arrogance.
Listening to the news everyday I understand our own worst enemy is our own kind. How convenient that we have eradicated nearly all of our natural predators, yet it is our own kind that preys on each other. The news is full of accounts of mass murders, children abducted, victimized and killed, with lying, greed and hatred as top billing. Yet, happiness finds me somehow in all this muddle of confusion and distress.
At one time I thought happiness was an illusion, something I could not attain or locate. It was this struggle and this disillusion that propelled me into some sort of frenzied search for a purpose and a meaning. It’s no wonder that people join up with cults, gangs, and things of this nature. You feel protected, cared for, wanted, and safe because it’s a jungle out there. I think this is a motivation spurred on by fear and not prone to rational thinking. But I digress.
I’ve decided this jungle out here is a lot better place to be than the protected walls of cult life. There you have no freedom. There you must be like the person next to you. There you are bridled from expressing your opinion or feeding your mind of anything that isn’t sanctioned by the group thinking process. There I lost myself to something that was not who I am. There the rules were many and vast, so much so that I walked a tightrope daily and fell constantly. It is impossible to be perfect in an imperfect world.
No, give me the jungle anytime. It may be full of evils and pitfalls. There may be unkind people and problems galore, but I can be me and I can be free. That is something to cherish and is worth more than any reward or treat I may be promised, however untrue.
I went to the jungle today. Glorious wildflowers were at my feet while I gingerly picked my way, looking for rattlesnakes in the tall grass, or hiding under rocks. Yes, it’s a jungle, yes, I may be fearful, but I am not afraid of fear itself. I have my integrity intact; I have myself to build on, to grow, a mind to use. Everyday, I am thankful for what I have. I may be dirt poor, but money cannot buy what I have. Cults cannot foster an independent spirit, a healthy mind; they only rob you of it.
The jungle was beautiful today. I went to the river, a wonderful and glorious creation of God. The water rushed with new snowmelt, the rapids appeared furiously rushing over rocks. I met new people to enjoy this planet of ours with and it was fun. All is not lost, evil is not the norm or the constant. Life is what you make of it, in spite of the dangers and dilemmas. I love being alive even in spite of what I’ve been through. That only makes up who I am today.
Acheick 2002