Posted by WC (Gen. Coordinator) on January 14, 2008 at 21:47:31
In Reply to: Re: Family Documents posted by Joanne Morris on January 13, 2008 at 18:31:03:
The answers you received seem to be from one annoyed individual, but it's quite telling that no one stepped in to speak against the less-than-friendly response.
The reactions (or lack of responses) to your requests may depend on how well your questions were articulated--you may have started on the wrong foot there: As one reader pointed out on genX when discussing your post: no one will take a "researcher" seriously if she doesn't spell right or take the time to articulate herself properly (see ""). Clear articulate requests usually result in lot of helpful and articulate responses--I've seen it happen before.
Annoyance towards those who claim to want to do research is not without reason:
1) Many a student has appeared on the Academic board, just announcing their subject and then expecting someone else to do their research for them; not bothering or unable to follow up when ex-members respond.
2) There are those who claim to want to undertake ambitious goals supposedly for the benefit of ex-members, all without understanding the sentiment of the ex-members they are supposedly trying to help. It's important to know who you are dealing with: Ex-members are damaged, have been burned by people exploiting their story, and are very suspicious by nature. They've seen many a person come along making grandiose claims, trying to set themselves up as the hero of the hour.
3) If you look further down the Academic board at the discussions generated by "M.A. thesis interview needed - Monika Kosz Mar 13, '05," you will see how initally ex-members were trying to help her, but became frustrated because she simply made assumptions and wanted ex-members to confirm her misunderstandings about the way things were in the cult. When challenged, she started quoting a textbook to explain her assumptions; when someone quoted it right back and explained that they did not see any grounds for her assumptions, she didn't/couldn't follow through the challenge and eventually quit.
4) Probably a lot of the irritation may come from the fact that regular visitors to the site expect you to see the same things they see -- it's a common mistake, but an understandable one: It's a lot to take in at once, but the information you can find by following links on our site's front page, would easily have led you to deducible facts so that your questions would have been framed differently.
Some very intelligent and helpful exchanges have happened on our boards, and has been the material for countless researchers. They don't always happen on the Academic board.
If you wish to ask questions on the Academic board, it really helps to ask the right questions: Try not to assume too much (or assume your self-importance). Take the time to articulate yourself--be clear, define your goals. Tread lightly and check if people wish to cooperate (without sounding like you assume they of course would). Check if they agree you can make a difference with your ideas.
Then, get specific and get into it: ask direct questions instead of talking about talking someday sometime somewhere else. The answers you get to direct simple questions can be very informative and surprising.
Help ex-members to help you along the way: tell them what you think you know so far, and what information you think you're still missing, and ask how/where to find the information.
Factor this in: In doing "research" about emotionally-laden topics with emotionally-scarred subjects (ex-members), it is only normal they would want to know you are genuinely concerned about finding out how it really was. And if they (even if irrationally) perceive you to be shallow and uncommitted in that respect, they will feel let down and even deceived once again (even if irrationally). What they went through in the cult was so heavy and complex they don't want to waste time on "researchers" who want to use them for statistics or over-simplified soundbites. With such complex matters, if they're going to go through the trouble of being helpful, some ex-members may not have patience for researchers who appear to be way out of their depth.
I hope that helps. I wish you good luck on your research and endeavors. PLEASE, do not be discouraged from asking questions.
Sincerely,
WC (Gen. Coordinator)