Posted by Former X on May 23, 2007 at 09:04:43
In Reply to: Re: looking for help posted by sas on May 20, 2007 at 14:00:08:
Observe the behavior of the person you are talking about. Give the person room and don't ask too much but confront any intisocial behavior, they have many of those. There are many doctrines that stay for quite some time: spoil egypt, provisioning, views about politics, no boundaries in personal space in their relationships, I-am-never-wrong, etc.
Their most telling attribute is their secrecy. Even though they are out, there are many things we don't talk about, not even among ourselves unless a certain level of trust has been crossed. You have to realize that our trust was broken by the double-face and double standards that are so prevalent in the cult.
It takes a long time and work, individually, to overcome that betrayal to trust. I have been out for many years and I still don't fully trust people, not even other ex-members. Every little thing triggers my defenses, and I have observed this behavior all across the board.
So, observe and be firm. Just because your friend is in not in The Family, he/she is still in the deep doo-doo of Berg's doctrines, even if they don't recognize them. Confront them, but be gentle because you are all they have. You have no idea how alone we are inside.